it was so fun! funfunfunfunfunfun!! =DD

okay, so i won't miss the sleeping tentage areas or the toilet, but darn it was fun. i wish i had a chance to do the rockwall climbing one more time though, it was so fun! i realise i use the word'fun' too many times already. hehe ^^;

once again. i haven't much to say, updating for the sake of updating again because i'm totally 'effing bored as per normal. i can't wait for that roleplay i joined to start, maybe then i'll have something to do. i really like how the twins katausrou and kichirou turned out. they remind me of the line in 'war of the worlds' yeah? the one where the rob-guy says "between me and my brother, we know everything"? yup, between the twins, they have almost every trait.

on a sad note, my adobe photoshop is malfunctioning because my dad has reformatted the computer. hafta get that installation again. darnit.

and th name block seems to have gotten less bad, i think i have a name for the redhead and lucienne's little friend already. but i think they don't sound quite that good, so i'mma going to have to come up with something better first then decide on confirming the name. i want something new and original once again.

and the names kinyade and su'renaki don't sound one bit girly anyway.

i felt like writing, and so here i am. besides that, i also remembered that i wanted to push down my writings as always. i don't like my ugly ugly writings to be the first thing to be seen. people didn't come here to read about someone living in my head, so i shan't make them suffer. ha.

first things first, i have nothing (repeat nothing) to say about the class excursion on monday, and so nothing much will be written. i don't really have much to think about singapore history, the sacrifices and all, i'm a cynic and a self-made one at that, history isn't something i feel like being uncynical about. history is screwed anyway, all we read about is just a bunch of things people agree on, have fought about and are still fighting about. i'm not saying that the people who died deserved it, but seriously, are we willing to be like korea and put a ban on as well as boycott all things japanese? korea can afford that, but we cannot.

people who try to educate the generations should get their facts right, get their tone of speech right. they are teaching us to what? hate the japanese? sure, they may simply mean for us to know, but do they put in a good word for the people who died from radiation in hiroshima and nagasaki? sadako sasaki and the countless others? what about the civillians who had their sons sent off to be torturers and heartless people, sent them off to be hated and to suffer under the orders of their commanders if they did not obey orders like slaves? oh it's all elizabeth choy and her husband, all about the death railway and all about the "Z" special unit - why can't we discuss both sides of the story instead?

i'm not asking anybody to rewrite history and accept the claim of japan being the liberator of asia, but is it so difficult to just hint that the japanese lower ranked military members were suffering psychologically much worse? oh i could go on, but i kind of did promise to not write too much about my cynic views.

i guess, humans are selfish that way, even if they don't mean to be.
we are telling a one-sided story, and that's hardly fair is it? but then again, the world isn't fair is it?

chinese sucked. always did and never fails to. i don't feel like caring anymore, perhaps i shouldn't, it just makes me feel like i'm pathetic anyway. i doubt i deserve to feel like that over some stupid paper, a paper of a subject i tried so hard to pass and tried so badly to study for even if i failed it in the end. i'll probably flunk everything else too, i'm a loser, they should never have put chinese first anyway. i wish they could learn from other countries and let us have the choice to drop their mother tongue at high school level: i'd drop it for japanese, who knows? i might get better results for that than for my chinese because i'm far more enthusiastic about it than bland old chinese, something i've been forced to swallow with since kindergarden. they should offer us a choice of languages for everyone in exchange for their mother tongue, but revert them back if they fail repeatedly. i'm sure someone can think of something better than to press down a full... course? of chinese on people who don't want it.

there's the thing with "higher" and "lower" chinese too, but the post is getting too lengthy and it's getting late.

Ah well, it's back to the drawing board and back to life again. it gets boring after a little while, but one's got to start from scratch somewhere right?


was it my fault i called her beret a stupid hat? was it my fault for stating the complete obvious? she can go worship the hat for i wish, the world can go put labels and and rank inanimate objects however they wish, but in the end it's just a remake of the Emperor's New Clothes isn't it? in the end, all the symbolic importance? it's just all a psychological matter and it's all just a work of us egocentric humans who are somehow amazing at the act of animism. she even had the cheek to say that she was ignored during break, about how everyone hates her and blah. take a break, laugh or scream at the ocean or something. everybody has learned to avoid a pillar and learned not to talk to or bother with someone trying to put up an act of stoicism: you've become a pillar, people avoid pillars because we crash into them otherwise and it hurts to do so. get your facts right before you start pointing your gun at everyone and claiming to be hated, that's being pathetic. deal with it, and make life work for yourself. sink or swim, completely up to you.

"Oi! Lucienne, up the stairs, quickly!"

Easy for you to say, came the immediately thought, blowing out an exasperated breath. Puffing out her cheeks huffily, she pulled up her long fluffy skirt angrily and took another step up the carved stairs, nobody tells the Kayime heiress to do anything and this is so illegal I feel bad. Violently purple eyes glared up irritably at the shadowy, back-lit figure further up the steep staircase as she took another step, looping the skirt hem up her arm and keeping it firmly out of the way. Small sandled feet stepped up onto another step, half-clambering just to make up for the height.

"Lucy! Come on!"

A small hand reached out towards her, and Lucienne grinned in spite of herself, and slapped her hand into his, accepting the help. Finally, the idiot realised how difficult it was to climb stairs that were half her height, which wasn't very high - even for a six year old. Her face continued to retain the sretched happy expression as she made it up the rest of the stairs with her white lace-trimmed skirt draped over her arm, and her other hand firmly held on to and levered up by her best friend, towards some unknown surprise he'd prepared for her. "So, what is going on?" came the demanding but insufferably polite tone, as Lucienne flipped a messy mass of curls that were part of her hair behind her shoulder and jammed her hand onto her right hip: every image of a spoiled heiress to the Kayime fortune, and to her family she was a total success. To everyone else however, it was just another one of those girls who only needed one word to cover everything: bitchy. Ha, Lucienne tossed her head, throwing her coppery mop back in her usual haughty manner, only to burst out in childish laughter when he gave her the usual look with the attempt at a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, spit it!" she managed, as she covered her mouth and keep the laughter in with a polite 'ahem' and attempt to pull together the proper stiff look. He looked pleased with himself for a minute, adjusting his signature beret across his plum coloured hair and dusting off the front of his sienna and cream shirt with an aura of someone distinctly proud of himself. Lucienne prssed her fingers tightly to her mouth and kept a straight face as he even went to the extent to fiddle with his strangely cut hair, with the beads and jagged cuts all through the straight quirky mop as he took his time to keep up the suspense.

[unfinished]

mmmmm... ice cream...

after completely ignoring the month of march and april, it is now time to at least greet the month of may which has gone halfway by. hello, may. after a long long long long hiatus, i guess it's time to restart with a new layout and some updates now that there is nothing distracting m-

oh a butterfly!
...
-ahem-

i thought it would be nice to play around with layer masking since i just learned the trick of it just five minutes before i began making it. I was surfing around for a scan that would match this lovely tune I found, and in the end chanced upon it. after resizing it a little, and masking it countless times with the use of purples, orange-reds, browns, three shades of grey and black... it ended up like this after the application of both colour dodge and... soft light. spiffy! it looks almost nothing like the original, and i'm so happy with it, and layer masking itself. the perfect way to make spiffy stuff and have fun along the way: layer masking! bow down to adobe photoshop, minions!

oh, drawing again. been having really funny dreams since wednesday. it was a nice one on wednesday, where i had a glimpse of lucienne's life when she was younger and still living with her parents. she was so happy, running after her friend up the stairs to the observatory to have a look at the strange starry skies of caerst. as always in my dreams, something weird happened, and the stars and planets became something like a torpedo and attacked everything that was stationary. so lucienne's little friend went "everybody keep moving!" and they all hurried out of the observatory. oh why do i always wake up at the best bits of a dream ):

thursday's dream included black silkworms, and somehow the school canteen only sold black silkworms and nothing else. i was forced to buy and catch a look of everybody eating those crispy black... things like it was normal. as always i had to be an exception, and i had some very familiar faces telling me "what's the big deal? it's just black silkworms!" ...right, and they're totally normal urban fastfood. ha.

friday's was blurry. can't remember anything from it though, it was a good dream and had nothing to do with worms or lucienne. but i can't remember it anymore. always happens D:

mum stocked the fridge with ice cream btw! chocolate caramel sundae and chocolate vanilla sundae, oh love! :D i love the class tee!