It kinda hit me that this is the third time I'm blogging just for today. I dunno, it's just kind of calming... and stuff, to know that nobody is reading my little non-personal diary.

Sometimes when I write here, I take pleasure in knowing nobody realizes I'm hiding here without the knowledge of people.
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Obsessive-Compulsive should be the correct term, but for me I think Obsessive-Possessive sounds much prettier. I do obsess, over a lot of things maybe some people cannot even begin to contemplate. I take pride in being a very pure Piscean, I could survive in my mind with a little practice and simply let go.

Sometimes, I see no point in living in this... mundane, boring world. Sometimes the rather smooth coinage of 'suicide' drifts through my musings (since I was about 9, about the same time Tsuyura and Dreilin came), and more than once I can picture how it happens, with my worst fear portrayed in it; altophobia.

I never did quite stop thinking about death, it is in a way very curious a thing, and though I barely contemplate my own, I image it very much like another gateway to a future....

Obsessive-Possessive means to be unable to let go and let the said object take over all thought. As is obsession. Possessiveness comes in when the person refuses to let anyone near it, hoarding it like a dragon would treasure, hiding it away, yearning for it or having already possessed it, moon over it.

As weird as it sounds, I find it beautiful that the human mind is able of such curious behaviour.

And I think you might have heard of how I describe words to be 'pretty' or 'smooth', well it simply means that I find that it sounds 'right', and easy for the human tongue. As if it can be said as simply as breathing, very... you know, just natural.

It's hard to explain how I think, but for me, English is a very strange object, alive sometimes and still in others, like a long river, with the quick flowing rapids that simply crash and wear down rocks with white water, and the calm bits which lap softly and gently in their banks. It just seems natural for me to fix two words that sound 'smooth' together.
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The following is an outburst, it refers to none of the general majority who will ever read this blog. This is on a different scale altogether and does not even begin to include any of her peers.

For the record,
Call me 'emo', call me whatever, make yourself happy, knock yourself out.
There is nothing there on the surface for me. I don't seen how it will affect me anymore.
I don't want to care either.

Don't tell me what to be, how to act and that I have no mannerism.
You are not me, and I detest you for not trying to be.

You know who you are, and you probably don't understand a word I have just written.

Just know this: I hate you.